Retreat Notes for Day 4
Thursday, February 25, 2010

A Creed For Those Who Have Suffered

I asked God for strength, that I might achieve.
    I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey...
I asked for health, that I might do greater things.
    I was given infirmity, that I might do better things...
I asked for riches, that I might be happy.
    I was given poverty, that I might be wise...
I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men.
    I was given weakness, that I might feel the need of God...
I asked for all things, that I might enjoy life.
    I was given life, that I might enjoy all things...
I got nothing I asked for
    — but everything I had hoped for.
Almost despite myself,
    my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am, among all men, most richly blessed!

— Prayer of a unknown Confederate soldier
found in the churchyard of a cemetery in South Carolina.

The Ride

At first, I saw God as my observer, my judge, keeping track of the things I did wrong so as to know whether I merited heaven or hell when I die. He was out there, sort of like a president. I recognized His picture when I saw it, but I didn't really know Him.

But later on when I met Christ, it seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride, but it was a tandem-bike, and I noticed that Christ was in the back helping me pedal.

I don't know when it was that He suggested we change places, but life has not been the same since ... Apostolic life, that is. Christ makes life exciting. When I had control, I knew the way. It was rather boring, but predictable...it was the shortest distance between two points. But when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, up mountains, and through rocky places, at breakneck speeds; it was all I could do to hang on!!! Even though it looked like madness, He said, Pedal."

I worried and was anxious and asked "Where are you taking me?" He laughed and didn't answer, and I started to learn to trust. I forgot my my boring life and entered into the adventure. And when I'd say, "I'm scared," He'd lean back and touch my hand.

He took me to people with gifts that I needed, gifts of healing, acceptance and joy. They gave me their gifts to take on my journey, my Lord's and mine. And we were off again. He said, "Give the gifts away; they're extra baggage, too much weight." So I did, to the people we met, and I found that in giving I received, and still our burden was light.

I did not trust Him, at first, in control of my life. I thought He'd wreck it; but He knows bike secrets, knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, jumps to clear high rocks, fly to shorten scary passages. And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places; and I'm beginning to enjoy the view and the cool breeze on my face with my delightful constant companion, Christ.

And when I'm sure I just can't do anymore; He just smiles and says: "Pedal!"

The Journey by Mary Eleanore Rice

where are you going i asked
to places I have never been was the answer

what do you plan to do i asked
my purpose will be evident at journey’s end

who has planned your itinerary i asked
its plans will be revealed at times most unlikely

why would you consent to such a vague plan i said
i accepted the challenge when i accepted life was the answer

Thomas Merton Prayer

My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going.

I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself,
and the fact that I think that I am following your will
does not mean that I am actually doing so.

But I believe that the desire to please you
does in fact please you.

And I hope that I will never do anything
apart from that desire.

And I know that if I do this,
you will lead me by the right road
though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always
though I may seem to be lost
and in the shadow of death.

I will not fear, for you are ever with me,
and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton

Reading 1: Psalm 130 (NAB)

Out of the depths I call to you, LORD; Lord, hear my cry!
May your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.
If you, LORD, mark our sins, Lord, who can stand?
But with you is forgiveness and so you are revered.
I wait with longing for the LORD, my soul waits for his word.
My soul looks for the Lord more than sentinels for daybreak.
More than sentinels for daybreak, let Israel look for the LORD,
For with the LORD is kindness, with him is full redemption,
And God will redeem Israel from all their sins.

Reading 2: Isaiah 51:4-6 (NAB)

Be attentive to me, my people; my folk, give ear to me.
For law shall go forth from my presence, and my judgment, as the light of the peoples.
I will make my justice come speedily;
my salvation shall go forth [and my arm shall judge the nations];
In me shall the coastlands hope, and my arm they shall await.
Raise your eyes to the heavens, and look at the earth below;
Though the heavens grow thin like smoke,
the earth wears out like a garment and its inhabitants die like flies,
My salvation shall remain forever and my justice shall never be dismayed.

Reading 3: Luke 15:1-7 (NAB)

The tax collectors and sinners were all drawing near to listen to him, but the Pharisees and scribes began to complain, saying, “This man welcomes sinners and eats with them.” So to them he addressed this parable. “What man among you having a hundred sheep and losing one of them would not leave the ninety-nine in the desert and go after the lost one until he finds it? And when he does find it, he sets it on his shoulders with great joy and, upon his arrival home, he calls together his friends and neighbors and says to them, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you, in just the same way there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who have no need of repentance.